why all this pain  in this sunny day of  may?
happy faces around me, happy people.
but i'm the one who's not smiling.
i'm the one with the heaviest pain in my heart
and the worse part is, i don't know why..
why do these tears come into my eyes?
aren't i supposed to be happy right now?
i've got all life infront me..
but still, i'm aching and bleeding and noone can help me.

whispers that kill...
i feel people talking about me, i hear laughters behind my back.
people staring at me and whispering...
well, guess what yo, you're can't bring me down...
how you wish you could see me falling.
but i know who i am and i will keep walking, walking past you without lowering my head.
i've made my mistakes, i wish i could say sorry to some people.
but all those mistakes made me stronger and made me what i am now so regretting them would be like rejecting myself.
so keep talking shit bitches, i'll keep it real until the end.
keep making me famous.
=]

so it's soo fucking cold outside =)   and i kinda like it although i was literally freezing before..

ugh :/
;l
;x
l:
<:
(:
[:
[=

some really unbelievable things happen. and um, i feel lucky ya know but then again, those unbelievable things turn out to be so confusing. but sweet.. but confusing ):
and i don't know how to feel? o-o

i gave you my heart. you gave me your lips.
and that's it. 
and it's not fair :/

 that's old as well;

Ξημερώνει... Όνειρα μπερδεμένα και σπασμένα γεμάτα με την εικόνα σου. Όμως τώρα ξύπνησα. Τα όνειρα έσβησαν, σαν να μην υπήρξαν ποτέ αλλά η εικόνα σου παραμένει...

Ο ήλιος... Μπορώ σχεδόν να τον αγγίξω αλλά είναι τόσο μακριά. Στεγνώνει τα δάκρυα αλλά η θλίψη παραμένει. Η θλίψη που δεν είσαι πια εδώ...

Μυρίζει άνοιξη... Όλη αυτή η ομορφιά που δεν μπορώ να μοιραστώ μαζί σου δεν έχει αξία πια. Και είναι κρίμα που δεν είσαι εδώ...

Και αρχίζει να σκοτεινιάζει. Κάτω απ'τα αστέρια νιώθω τόσο μικρή χωρίς εσένα. Χαμένη μέσα στην απεραντοσύνη και στην τόση ζωή που μοιάζει μεγάλη χωρίς εσένα...

Και η απουσία σου είναι εδώ... Είναι στο χαμογελό σου που δεν μπορώ να δω και στο πρόσωπο σου που δεν μπορώ να αγγίξω...

Μου λείπεις...

25 marc 2008

 

 wrote that some time ago;

Βράδιασε και θα ξημερώσει και θα βραδίασει και θα ξημερώσει ξανά και αύριο και μεθαύριο.

Και εγώ θα σε κοιτάω, θα περιμένω ένα τόσο δα μικρό σου χαμόγελο για να είναι λιγότερο σκοτεινός ο κόσμος μου, για να δω ότι είσαι ευτυχισμένος και να είμαι κ εγώ ευτυχισμένη

και ας μην είμαι ο λόγος, εσύ να είσαι καλά.

Και μεσ'τα μάτια σου βλέπω αυτό που θέλω να δω. Εσένα. Εσένα να κοιτάς εμένα αλλά μετά

γυρίζεις... Αλλά εγώ εκεί, θέλω να σε βλέπω, θέλω να σ'ακούω, να σε αγγίξω, να σ'αγαπήσω ρε γαμώτο, να μ'αγαπήσεις... Να σε γνωρίσω, να σε ζήσω... Να σ'αγαπήσω... Να σε πλησιάσω,

να χαμογελάσεις, να χαμογελάσω...

Ένα φιλί να φωτίσει τον κόσμο μου.

it's not okay that you don't talk to me.
it's not okay that you don't smile when you see me.
it's not okay that you ignore me, it's not okay that you hardly look at me, it's not okay that you don't give a damn about me.
baby, no, it's not okay, nothing's okay anymore.
and if i say i'm okay, that would be the blackest kind of blasphemy. i am not okay.
there are so many things that i wanna tell you but when you are around the words just won't come out because i don't know how you feel about me, i doubt that you feel anything about me... and i just don't wanna make you hurt me, if i told you how i feel you'd hurt me, i know.
ok so maybe i ain't perfect but you ain't perfect either baby. and you didn't even give me a fucking chance.
i thought i was soo over you but now i see the truth, i was never over you, i've been always waiting for you, secretly and silently.
coz you were the only one who made me feel so high, the one who gave me butterflies.
but you know what, i will just try to forget.
forget the way you held my hand, forget how i was trying to memorize the way you walk, forget your little freckles, forget the things we used to say, forget your warm embrace, forget that you are with her right now, forget that you are gone forever.
no matter how many words i write in this post, my feelings for you will never be replaced by words. coz my feelings for you are totally unexplainable.
and if you ever decide how you feel about me or how you wanna feel about me, tell me. i wanna know but if you feel nothing about me don't bother. i'd rather not know.

i just came up with it. and um obviously it's in greek lmfao =]
it sux but i couldn't be arsed to write it on microsoft word so i wrote it here. ;P


μου ειχες πει μεθυσμενος σ'αγαπω
πισω απ'των τρενων τον σταθμο
μα εχουν περασει μηνες κ καλοκαιρια
μακαρι να πεθαινα στα δικα σου τα χερια
την επομενη μερα το ειχες ξεχασει
κ ειναι κριμα γιατι νομιζα πως ειχες αλλαξει
και τωρα καθομαι και περιμενω
ακομα πιστευω πως εισαι το δικο μου πεπρωμενο
και ποτε δεν θα σταματησω να ελπιζω
γιατι θα ερθεις πισω, το γνωριζω
ακομα κανω ονειρα για σενα και για μενα
και ας λενε οτι ζω σε ενα ψεμα

i've been waiting for so long for something that i don't even know if it ever comes.
no more strength to fight, all hope is gone but i still lose myself into your eyes. [when i look deep into your eyes i swear i can see your soul]
sick of you

so life is still confusing, boys are more confusing and school is just boring.
oh and period sucks and so does runny nose AND having to study ancient greek *kills myself*
BUT I WILL SURVIVE. >:]
giving up is not on cards this year (Y)
and i'm gonna try and make it and then smileeeeeeee =]

but i feel empty. :/
or maybe too full [and not of food]
:/
sometimes i cannot justify my behavior. i'm moody or just immature. and noone can justify me
but that's another big story which cannot be told right now.
:/

biology class tomorrow and it's saturday. D:
these people cannot be serious. ):
and unfortunately the chain email didn't work even though i reposted it and i didn't get kissed today. tough luck :D
i am hungry and i gave to wake up from 8 o'clock tomorrow
ugh ugh
ok bye lols.

we are not meant to be happy
happiness cannot last forever
happiness is just short breaks during a long sad life.

and no i did not copy and pasted it from somewhere.
that's how i feel.
:/

and you wake up & you miss them
but they were never yours and never will be.
so stop wondering why and how things could be [because they will never be]
those memories will slowly fade away.
but no, you don't want them to fade away.
[you want to live with them]
but this is not how things go
no-one said it will be easy but you have to move on.
[you own that to yourself girl]
and one day you will see them and laugh at how stupid you were and how much they didn't worth it.
                                                                                                                maybe